We explore ways of allowing for the offloading of computationally rigorous tasks from devices with slow logical processors onto a network of anonymous peer-processors. Recent advances in secret sharing schemes, decentralized consensus mechanisms, and multiparty computation (MPC) protocols are combined to create a P2P MPC market. Unlike other computational "clouds", ours is able to generically compute any arithmetic circuit, providing a viable platform for processing on the semantic web. Finally, we show that such a system works in a hostile environment, that it scales well, and that it adapts very easily to any future advances in the complexity theoretic cryptography used. Specifically, we show that the feasibility of our system can only improve, and is historically guaranteed to do so.